The real Delhi University

Its that ridiculous time of year again when school finishing students across India race to the ends of the land in search of academic salvation.Needless to say,its the engineering colleges that get most applicants,but 2nd only to that would be the number of application forms oozing into administrative offices of Delhi University.Everyone wants to be part of Delhi University(useful hint:its abbreviated as DU,because it makes you sound a tad cooler than you actually might be),where studying is a criminal offense (2nd only to not smoking).

Central to DU,the college who's facade immediately jumps to mind on mention of it is St. Stephen's college.This college is the epitome of 'cool'.Its the ambition of every parent in New Delhi to see their seemingly direction-less child gain fame and glory (and more importantly,money) when he/she enters its sacred gates.Everybody dreams of walking out onto the petty streets wearing the Stephanian sweatshirt like a coat-of-arms.

It took just a list for the reality to emerge.On this day,the 18th of June,in the year of our lord 2009,St Stephen's brought out its cut-off list for various bachelor's courses:

http://www.ststephens.edu/admissions/cutoffs.htm

Now,this list immediately brings out a reaction akin to that of a bimbo's father when he sees the telephone bill.A gargantuan rise in percentages is what we find upon close examination.The reason that the college gives for this drastic action is that board results have been high in India and hence so should be the cut-off.Now,the layman will think:"well yeah makes sense because its the elite who make it to this college".Well layman,figure this:out of the total no of seats that applicants are battling with bloodshed for,50% are reserved for Christians (20% of these are for Christian Dalits while 40% of them are for Christians from North India) and 10% is reserved for SC/ST/OBC and physically challenged.The unfortunate percentage that were not baptized or born into caste-victimized families (or both) get just 40%.

THIS,my friends,is the situation of education in India.Its only for the 40% that this list is being released.This 40% is what makes up the 'elite' Stephanian crowd.Its the bunch of idiots who have studied without sleep for at least a month to be able to get a good education.It seems that the college wants them to lose some more sleep.A 95% is not a good enough percentage for them.The child who knows Chemistry for the science it is will lose his seat to the child who practically remembers every page number of a topic in his Chemistry book.

Education in India is dead.Mechanization is the new 'art'.Religious 'sentiments' are preferred over practical knowledge.If you're a Christian,you will find enough of your kind in the aforementioned 'prestigious' college.Who knows how many there will be.More importantly,best of luck in looking for one who actually knows his/her subject.And the saddest part is that people still stand for this.A rise in cut-offs will anger only those who did not get in,while others will be filled with the pride of getting the ultimate stamp of elitism.

The truth is,religion and social blasphemy have taken a very convenient shit on the face of education.Society is self-destructing due to its lack of practicality.And as Indians,the best we shall do is laugh it off with the 'this is India,my friend' statement.And then its back to our pitiful,religion and superstition-driven lives.

And this is just St Stephen's.Who knows what the rest of DU's lists will turn out to be.So kids,if you're looking for a good education in DU,follow these simple rules:

1. Get a fake identity made,preferably Christian or Dalit or both
2. Make sure you know insiders in the DU administration so that they can get you into the course you 'deserve'
3. Keep lots of money aside in case methods 1 and 2 fail
4. Be prepared to get chucked into a college full of lowlife scum because your 90% and above aggregate is too good for the high-society,religious bastards in the college of your choice.

I'm glad I escaped....