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Thursday, 18 June 2009

The real Delhi University

Its that ridiculous time of year again when school finishing students across India race to the ends of the land in search of academic salvation.Needless to say,its the engineering colleges that get most applicants,but 2nd only to that would be the number of application forms oozing into administrative offices of Delhi University.Everyone wants to be part of Delhi University(useful hint:its abbreviated as DU,because it makes you sound a tad cooler than you actually might be),where studying is a criminal offense (2nd only to not smoking).

Central to DU,the college who's facade immediately jumps to mind on mention of it is St. Stephen's college.This college is the epitome of 'cool'.Its the ambition of every parent in New Delhi to see their seemingly direction-less child gain fame and glory (and more importantly,money) when he/she enters its sacred gates.Everybody dreams of walking out onto the petty streets wearing the Stephanian sweatshirt like a coat-of-arms.

It took just a list for the reality to emerge.On this day,the 18th of June,in the year of our lord 2009,St Stephen's brought out its cut-off list for various bachelor's courses:

Now,this list immediately brings out a reaction akin to that of a bimbo's father when he sees the telephone bill.A gargantuan rise in percentages is what we find upon close examination.The reason that the college gives for this drastic action is that board results have been high in India and hence so should be the cut-off.Now,the layman will think:"well yeah makes sense because its the elite who make it to this college".Well layman,figure this:out of the total no of seats that applicants are battling with bloodshed for,50% are reserved for Christians (20% of these are for Christian Dalits while 40% of them are for Christians from North India) and 10% is reserved for SC/ST/OBC and physically challenged.The unfortunate percentage that were not baptized or born into caste-victimized families (or both) get just 40%.

THIS,my friends,is the situation of education in India.Its only for the 40% that this list is being released.This 40% is what makes up the 'elite' Stephanian crowd.Its the bunch of idiots who have studied without sleep for at least a month to be able to get a good education.It seems that the college wants them to lose some more sleep.A 95% is not a good enough percentage for them.The child who knows Chemistry for the science it is will lose his seat to the child who practically remembers every page number of a topic in his Chemistry book.

Education in India is dead.Mechanization is the new 'art'.Religious 'sentiments' are preferred over practical knowledge.If you're a Christian,you will find enough of your kind in the aforementioned 'prestigious' college.Who knows how many there will be.More importantly,best of luck in looking for one who actually knows his/her subject.And the saddest part is that people still stand for this.A rise in cut-offs will anger only those who did not get in,while others will be filled with the pride of getting the ultimate stamp of elitism.

The truth is,religion and social blasphemy have taken a very convenient shit on the face of education.Society is self-destructing due to its lack of practicality.And as Indians,the best we shall do is laugh it off with the 'this is India,my friend' statement.And then its back to our pitiful,religion and superstition-driven lives.

And this is just St Stephen's.Who knows what the rest of DU's lists will turn out to be.So kids,if you're looking for a good education in DU,follow these simple rules:

1. Get a fake identity made,preferably Christian or Dalit or both
2. Make sure you know insiders in the DU administration so that they can get you into the course you 'deserve'
3. Keep lots of money aside in case methods 1 and 2 fail
4. Be prepared to get chucked into a college full of lowlife scum because your 90% and above aggregate is too good for the high-society,religious bastards in the college of your choice.

I'm glad I escaped....


Qi said...

Whoa. Angry much? This is how it is and well, there's nothing we can do about it really. We all study in the same system ultimately.

Express said...


another comment here shall cost u money :P :P

metal-militant said...

@Qi: Correction,YOU ALL study in the same system.I USED TO.And just because we are/were part of it does not stop me from hating it or speaking the truth about it.I'm just glad I never took my education in said system seriously enough for my future to depend on it.

@Express: Well you can always copy-paste from Facebook.

Sanchi said...

Nice blog post on Delhi University related issue. Also find Delhi University Admission News and Cut off lists on

Perx said...

So what should we do? Try to go abroad with their 2% cut for foreign students.. we already know the problem dude.. but no one is ready with a solution

Anirudh said...

Kudos to you for this awesome piece. Its been a while since I read something of such a high standard and meaning. I just have one thing to say to Govt reformists, if u want to change our country for the better, chuck the Mofo quotas.

I left the country and am now wondering when the next aussie's gonna come along to bash the shit out of me. So many Indians could have been safe and alive in India if only the system wasn't so fucked up. So many deaths due to low marks and no admission, all for what purpose?

May all the victims of our education system rest in peace.

metal-militant said...

@ Perx:Thanks for stopping by my blog.And it seems that you're very quota-oriented.Why do you want to go abroad solely through the 2% cut for foreign students?I recently made it to Tisch School of the Arts Asia in Singapore solely through my portfolio and marks.Why can't people get admission through such criteria?This is exactly the fault in the system.And its catching on to the students as well.

@Anirudh:Thanks for stopping by.And it seems you're studying in Australia,so TAKE COVER!!!!!!Hehe.Just kidding.That is quite a valid analysis of the deaths in Australia.In the end,it DOES turn out to be the ruinous home-grown education system that forces people to go to countries that hate dark-skinned people but realize little that its WE who are running their country.

Perx said...

Ur getting it all wrong man..actually i had planned on giving SATs and had researched a little abt the us universities... what i meant was that most universities(at least in us) only have/give 2-5% seats to students who are not from the country of the university.. we can't apply from any other direction/ in any other way..
i know nothing about the said university in singapore and congratulations on getting admitted..

metal-militant said...

@ Perx: That's a pretty sorry state of affairs in that case.And thanks.